Do You Love Giving Unsolicited Advice?

I think I initially wanted to become a therapist because I was obsessed with being right. I lived to give people advice. I loved talking to people and I got almost all my self worth from helping others. Why not turn it into a career?

Then...I went to graduate school and I realized this is literally the opposite of what successful therapists do. I also realized therapists do very little talking and a whole lot of listening.

It’s taken years of un-learning and re-learning to get to a place where I understand what helping really is and what to do when you feel that pull to meddle, fix, or help someone.

  • I’ve realized that true helping means taking SO much more into consideration than what I think is “right.”

  • I’ve learned that unless someone is really actively in danger, I don’t need to step in and save them.

  • I’ve noticed that often when I try to fix or meddle in someone’s life with the best of intentions, I make it a hell of a lot worse.

  • I’m completely aware now that sometimes what I think is right is totally wrong for someone for a million different reasons.

  • I know how hard it is to keep your mouth shut when you just “KNOW” exactly what the other person needs to feel better and be better.

If you're like me, you may struggle with giving unsolicited advice. Usually we do this because we want to help or maybe even control the outcome.

I made this list of questions that you can use whenever you are feeling pulled in this direction. The answers will change depending on the person and the situation. Let me know what you think of them and if you’re able to use them.

Unsolicited Advice - Whitney Goodman, LMFT

Unsolicited Advice - Whitney Goodman, LMFT

I also shared a post on Instagram today with ways you can respond to unsolicited advice.

 

PS. A lot of cool stuff going on this month…

  1. The Healing Family Patterns workbook is live! 

  2. My webinar topic this month is Parentification! 10% of all proceeds will be donated to @lovelandfoundation. These always sell out, so make sure to get a spot.

  3. For therapists, I'm hosting an Instagram for Therapists training this month.

As always, thank you SO much for reading. If there are any topics you'd like me to write about or just want to say hey - feel free to let me know.

Whit

Whitney Goodman